Back in the game...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ok, so I know I haven’t posted anything on my blog for a very long time and I apologise.

Christmas was hectic, I baked my arse off! (Well not really, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could do that!) I made chilli jam, gingerbread, my Christmas cookies, pudding truffles, rum balls, apricot balls, baileys balls, peppermint bark, white Christmas and baileys rocky road fudge. And I can’t forget my gingerbread cupcakes, they are my new favourite flavour. Photos to follow.

The thing is even with all that baking which I love I just lost my mojo. My last few batches of cupcakes where duds, and I just felt like a failure. I have never had a problem with papers coming away but every batch I have done lately the papers are coming away and I don’t know why. My recipe hasn’t changed and I am using the same papers as always. I have researched on the net and everyone seems to have a different theory on why this happens. I hope to get answers at Planet Cake.

I can feel myself slipping back into the old Kate, the one who had no self confidence and gave up everything the minute it got too hard. I can feel myself getting scared about Sydney, I was so bloody excited but now it’s only a week away I am doubting myself. What if I can’t keep up? What if they see what I can do and laugh? I know that isn’t the case but these stupid thoughts enter my mind.

And then I’m worried about when I come home, then what? I can’t advertise or sell my cakes because my kitchen isn’t licensed. Everyone supports me and tells me my work is good, I just wish I felt the same way. The council are being a pain and giving me conflicting information about getting my kitchen approved and I have as usual given up. There are 2 ladies selling cupcakes in Cairns already and that really upsets me, I wanna give them some competition! My work is so so different to theirs and I wanna be able to get out there and show it! I just wish I could stop doubting myself and hitting brick walls.

Anyway enough of that rot! I’m changing my attitude! With a week to go until I leave I need to change my way of thinking, 2010 is the year I finally start doing what I love. I’m going to be more open to things and just enjoy life. Once I am back from Sydney with my mind full of information and the dive I need I’m pursuing this licence and getting this little business going!

So then I’m off, I fly to Sydney on Thursday 14th to have a day of shopping and cupcake eating and then my course starts on Friday. I come home late Sunday night and am having Monday off to spend with my baby boy! I will write a post about my experience when I get back and lots of photos, can you believe they let you take photos during the course!

I feel more positive already!


Corina said...

hope you have fun in sydney. i know when i don't feel up to baking my cakes usually flop bad hehe. you are always so positive even when we were in high school! i am sure your dream will become a reality....just keep persevering. if the council won't help you i'm positive a lot of people will still pay you cash for your cupcakes. i know i would!

***Amy*** said...

This is the third time I've tried to post a comment today, stupid blogger. Sorry if you end up with five of my comments on your blog! :s

Welcome Back! I wish that you didn't live so far away...I need a good cupcake person, and we could figure a way around the whole regulation thing, surely! :P

Keep working on your dream, you have an incredible ability and you will get there!

Kate21 said...

Thank you Corina, that's a lovely thing to say!

Where abouts are you Amy? I will keep working hun, I know I will get there one day! Thank you!

April said...

Kate, I am in awe of your ability with baking and decorating cakes! Trust me, I bet your biggest failures look and taste better than my biggest sucess!

Keep at it chick, you have tallent!

Kate21 said...

Oh my gosh April I just saw your comment, thank you so much! Such a lovely thing to say, you really made my day! xxoo