Christmas was hectic, I baked my arse off! (Well not really, but wouldn’t it be nice if you could do that!) I made chilli jam, gingerbread, my Christmas cookies, pudding truffles, rum balls, apricot balls, baileys balls, peppermint bark, white Christmas and baileys rocky road fudge. And I can’t forget my gingerbread cupcakes, they are my new favourite flavour. Photos to follow.
The thing is even with all that baking which I love I just lost my mojo. My last few batches of cupcakes where duds, and I just felt like a failure. I have never had a problem with papers coming away but every batch I have done lately the papers are coming away and I don’t know why. My recipe hasn’t changed and I am using the same papers as always. I have researched on the net and everyone seems to have a different theory on why this happens. I hope to get answers at Planet Cake.
I can feel myself slipping back into the old Kate, the one who had no self confidence and gave up everything the minute it got too hard. I can feel myself getting scared about Sydney, I was so bloody excited but now it’s only a week away I am doubting myself. What if I can’t keep up? What if they see what I can do and laugh? I know that isn’t the case but these stupid thoughts enter my mind.
And then I’m worried about when I come home, then what? I can’t advertise or sell my cakes because my kitchen isn’t licensed. Everyone supports me and tells me my work is good, I just wish I felt the same way. The council are being a pain and giving me conflicting information about getting my kitchen approved and I have as usual given up. There are 2 ladies selling cupcakes in Cairns already and that really upsets me, I wanna give them some competition! My work is so so different to theirs and I wanna be able to get out there and show it! I just wish I could stop doubting myself and hitting brick walls.
Anyway enough of that rot! I’m changing my attitude! With a week to go until I leave I need to change my way of thinking, 2010 is the year I finally start doing what I love. I’m going to be more open to things and just enjoy life. Once I am back from Sydney with my mind full of information and the dive I need I’m pursuing this licence and getting this little business going!
I feel more positive already!
